They say that when you remember things, it is far easier to remember the bad than the good. Bad stories, too, usually make for more entertaining reading – when you have a bad day you can go on and on about what went wrong, whereas if you have a good day it can be summed up in a few sentences. In much the same way it was easier for expats to tell stories of what had gone wrong for them while they were living in China rather than what had gone easily or well. This often gave the skewed impression that Chinese people were out to get foreigners and that people wanted to take advantage of you. I found that this wasn’t the case in many of my interactions. While there were one or two shopkeepers or taxi drivers who used their position to overcharge me, most of them were honest and made great efforts to talk to me, the oblivious foreigner who could only speak a few words of Chinese. Many times both the shopkeeper and I were laughing as I tried to draw what I wanted to buy in a little notebook I carried with me everywhere. I had tried using dictionaries before too, but it’s surprisingly difficult to find and use the right word sometimes.
A memorable instance of when a dictionary was useless is when I was looking to buy two small paintings from an art shop – I pointed to the word for “painting” I had found in my Chinese-English dictionary. Baffled, the shop owner looked at me, then brought out a selection of paint tubes for me to peruse. We then tried to communicate in English – which also failed, as me saying “two small paintings” was heard as “too small paintings”. The owner got frustrated as he showed me successively larger and larger paintings which I completely rejected. I didn’t figure out until later how we had miscommunicated. That was one situation where I wasn’t able to find what I wanted. Drawing in a small notebook, however, was surprisingly useful. Most small items could be found this way, and it was a way to interact that lowered the stress of both the shopkeeper and myself.
I would also frequently use this “draw something” technique in my classes, drawing a picture of a noun or verb that we were learning to connect the concept and the word in the students’ minds. It worked quite effectively too – on my midterm I offered one free point to students who could draw one of any of the pictures I’d drawn through the course of the semester and write down the corresponding English word. Ninety percent of the class ended up getting the point, and one of the shyer students surprised me when she reproduced what I believe to be every single drawing I had made that semester – impressive, to say the least!
Most shopkeepers in small shops or street stalls made an effort to talk to me and to smile at me. I was especially impressed with one shopkeeper. I was buying souvenirs for my family in her shop and handed her 200 RMB to pay for my substantial purchase. Gathering my bags, I set off down the street. About thirty seconds later I heard shouting and turned to see the shopkeeper running down the street after me! She came up to me and handed me 50 RMB – my change. That impressed me deeply – I absolutely would have forgotten that I had overpaid, but that woman was honest and conscientious and made the extra effort to do the right thing! I made sure to go to her shop after that, and I hope that she gets a lot of business in the future.
Foreigners had networks of shops that they liked that they would recommend to each other. If someone found a new restaurant or shop that did a good job and made them feel welcome they would bring all their friends there, which resulted in a not-insignificant increase in business for the shop. One man who gave professional massages was extremely popular because of his professionalism and kind demeanor – almost always when you entered his shop you would find that he was busy either with a foreigner or with a Chinese person. I always wished him the best since he and his wife went out of their way to make the shop comfortable and friendly to all people – even though many foreigners couldn’t communicate with him in Chinese and he spoke no English whatsoever. Most shopkeepers didn’t speak English, but it’s amazing what you can communicate even across a language barrier! What really matters is intent, patience, and body language – those can work wonders for communication. As long as both parties are committed to communication, you are almost guaranteed to succeed.
Overall I have many more positive memories of China than I do negative ones. I cherish those memories and greatly value the experiences I had, both since they taught me a great deal and because I was able to meet a lot of interesting people. The Mid-Autumn Festival happened not too long ago, and I want to say to all my valued people in China – I have not forgotten you, and I will always remember the times we had together. May you have a wonderful year!