The city where I lived in China, Yinchuan, had about 1.65 million people in it; it was the capital of the province, Ningxia.
Ningxia is a special autonomous region within China, which means that some of the laws and governmental systems are different there.
By American standards, that’s a pretty large city. However, Yinchuan is in what is considered “the boonies” of China – the northwest. Most of Ningxia is rural, and for the most part farmers and shepherds live there. Yinchuan was the largest city in the province, and the most developed.
Now, the city alone contained 1.65 million Chinese. Yet, there were about 200 foreigners total in the entire province. This means that, as a light-haired light-eyed light-skinned relatively tall foreigner, you stand out. A lot. In some ways this can be nice – people treat you like a movie star, and can be more forgiving and accommodating. But in other ways, you can feel like an animal escaped from the zoo. It was not unusual for complete strangers to come up and ask in Chinese if they could take a picture with me (which was usually okay) or of me (which was not, but I usually couldn’t prevent them). Especially as a single woman you get attention; I always felt better when I was walking with another foreigner and could “share the stare”.
Being filmed at an attraction in China. I was on television three times in China that I knew of – never with my permission.
At times, standing out was amusing. I know of at least one situation where a man was staring at me so hard that he ran his bike into the curb and fell over. Kids were usually hilarious, since they would point and shout with absolutely no shame, “Weiguoren!” (Foreigner!) Usually if you said hello in Chinese, they would happily start talking to you, and you could have a good interaction. One of my teammates always used to joke that one day he would point and shout back, “Zhongguoren!” (Chinese person!) That idea always gave me the giggles. However, you can’t really give back tit for tat in that situation, especially since you truly are unusual in appearance and since you are a guest in the country – it’s always better to have good manners and let others choose their behavior.
Being perpetually stared at was probably the hardest thing for me in China, mostly because it just didn’t stop. After I became used to my surroundings, I somehow expected that my surroundings would get used to me – but that wasn’t the case. In such a huge city there is always someone who hasn’t seen the foreigner yet. At least on my campus it got better, since I would spend hours walking around to relax. Students and teachers would get accustomed to me, and after a few months I felt I blended in pretty well. I could always tell who the freshmen were in the fall semester because they would do the most humorously gratifying double takes when they saw me or one of the other foreign teachers walking by.
I used to be constantly mystified and irritated by the extra attention I got until I had a moment that put things in perspective. I was out walking with my students on the way to dinner, and I glanced over to my left. “Huh,” I thought, “What a tall, pale person!” I took a second look – then realized that that “tall, pale person” was my reflection in a large ground-floor window. Even I thought I stood out and did a double-take! After that I was more understanding of the staring – though I never really got accustomed to it.
At times, standing out was humiliating. I always dressed conservatively in China, since they are both fashionable and modest there, and since about 35% of the population in Yinchuan was Muslim. I never wanted my students or colleagues to feel that I was unprofessional or immodest. Another thing I initially thought was that people would take me as me, at face value – not realizing the preconceptions that Western television put into people’s minds. Particularly unfortunate is the common idea held by most Chinese of the “Hollywood woman”, promiscuous and airheaded. Two particular experiences underlined that for me.
One of the experiences happened when I was out with a group of female students. I was dressed normally, in full-length pants and a modest blouse with a tank top underneath – nothing showing but my neck, face, and hands. Yet, a Chinese man lounging near one of the shops started following us, and whistled at me and tried to get my attention for almost ten minutes. I ignored him completely, but the students were utterly embarrassed and at a loss as for what to do. Finally we went back into the school through the gate, and the guard stopped the man from harassing us further.
My second experience happened on a hot spring day. I was walking with a close Chinese friend of mine, Claire. We were headed back to the school and were almost there. I was wearing a high-necked shirt with short sleeves and a skirt that came to below my knees – again, modest even by Chinese standards. Yet, as we walked past a restaurant with outdoor seating, a group of men started to whistle and catcall at us in Chinese. My friend was really flustered, but I just grabbed her arm and said, “Keep going, don’t look at them, ignore them.” We got back to the school all right, but I decided to never wear a skirt off-campus again. There was no point in provoking anything, and I couldn’t control the preconceptions people had of Westerners – I could only interact with them one day at a time, and be an ambassador through our interactions.
Being an ambassador means that you represent not only yourself, but also where you came from; I was not only myself. To those who saw me, I was the representative of my company; I was the embodiment of an American; I was a real Western woman; and I was an example of a Christian. Because of this, I really learned how to better present myself, and how I couldn’t just do as I pleased; I always needed to think of the larger picture. And while sometimes I would just lock myself in my apartment because I could not stand it anymore, I really appreciated the chance to be something more than just myself; and I realized that even though in America we are highly individualistic, we still all stand as examples of the groups we identify with. I am glad to be an American, proud to have rights and opportunities as a Western woman, and dedicated to being the best Christian I can be. I hope that you, too, can identify strongly with what you are a part of – and embrace being totally yourself and an ambassador from that group to the world, wherever you are.